Elegy for a Broken Promise
by obviously394
Summary: or, a short tale of heartbreak. Snape/Lily


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Spring

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He ran the short way from his back door to hers, holding his father's cast-off shirt tight around his thin shoulders to keep the wind out. It was, after all, after midnight, and quite cold, despite it being the second of May.

She was waiting for him, as he'd expected she would be, and without a word ran into the woods behind her house, soon stopping before a fallen oak.

Taking her small hand in his, he led her to a place she'd never been before: a fairy ring, all but hidden by tall grass. They sat not too far away, and he let her speak.

"Mushrooms, Sev?"

"It's a fairy ring," the dark haired boy explained in a rough whisper. They were too far from civilization to be discovered, but he wouldn't risk anyone else being out and about.

The girl turned to her companion, one eyebrow raised. He'd always envied her ability to do that. "Fairies?"

"Yes, of course."

"Really?" Skepticism gave way to glee as the boy nodded.

"It's a full moon, see, and they like showing off to us."

"Witches and wizards?" she clarified, and she giggled a little when he nodded again. "But Sev, how will they know we're here?"

Patiently, he explained, "Magic is like a - I dunno, it pulls them to us."

"Oh, like a magnet."

Severus Snape hadn't the foggiest idea what a magnet was, but as he didn't want to reveal any kind of ignorance to the red-headed girl beside him, he merely whispered, "Look, Lily."

She gasped, seeing a small bright light whirling around the ring of mushrooms, glowing a pale green. It was soon joined by others, and the two sat in silence, hands still clasped, watching the erratic dance.

After a while, the moon drifted behind a cloud and the fairies dispersed. With a sigh, Lily Evans stood, brushed the grass off her dark red pajamas, and started to walk back toward her house.

"Sev?" she called when he didn't follow.

He ran to catch up, and she asked him, "When will my letter come?"

"I told you already, you won't just get a letter. One of the teachers will come too. But not until July, most likely."

"Oh," Lily murmured, disappointed. It already seemed like she'd been waiting so long, and she didn't like to wait. "Sev?"

"Yeah?"

She collected her thoughts, opened her mouth, shut it, and opened it again. "Will we always be friends?"

"Yes, of course we will-"

"But what if you like the others better than me?"

Severus laughed, and it sent a shiver down Lily's spine- he wasn't laughing because anything was funny. "That won't happen, not to me."

"Promise?"

"If you promise you'll never leave me."

"Alright. You first."

"Lily, I promise we'll always be friends."

"I promise I'll never leave you, Sev."

Lily's house came into view, and without another word she ran up to the door; when she turned to wave, Severus was already gone.

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Summer

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It had been three days since she'd spoken to him. Three days. Three days of not talking to anyone except for the teachers.

Three days was a long time, especially to a sixteen year old boy, regarding the girl he loves.

But it was too late for that now. They'd broken their promises. He'd forgotten their friendship for the sake of his vanity, and she left.

He thought he deserved it. He did deserve it. But that didn't make watching her in the hallways, laughing with her many friends, any less heart breaking.

He thought about apologizing to her again, but he knew how stubborn Lily was, and knew it would be a waste of time.

He thought that if he were in her place, he wouldn't forgive her, but of course it was impossible to tell.

At least he'd only have one more week of this, until he was home again for the summer.

Where everything would remind him of her.

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Autumn

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He knew he shouldn't be looking, but it was so much easier than wondering what she was up to.

It had been one year, four months and twenty six days since she'd spoken to him, voluntarily. But the one time she said 'Thank you, Snape' when he handed her the potions textbook she dropped in class that once hurt more than anything.

Severus watched her through the window of the Three Broomsticks, his firewhiskey- he was old enough to drink now, had been for several months, and he had always abhorred the sickly sweet taste of butterbeer- practically untouched on the table before him.

He watched her giggle with her Gryffindor friends, leaning against Honeydukes across the street, and he watched Potter and his friends saunter up to the group of girls. He watched his Lily- except she wasn't his, and he knew that she never had been- and Potter step away from the group, talking probably in low voices, and then wander off together in the direction of the Shrieking Shack. He watched Lupin and Pettigrew exchange wide grins at what had come to pass before their eyes while Sirius flirted with the lot of girls. Fools, every one of them, in his opinion, but he suspected that was merely because they weren't her.

He watched her, even though every smile on her pretty face broke his heart a little more. Soon, he thought, there would be nothing left to break. He took a sip of his firewhiskey, then gulped it all down. Maybe it would stop hurting so much then.

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Winter

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Under normal circumstances, Severus found being Disillusioned fascinating- watching his body vanish, barely visible under the strongest light- but these were not normal circumstances.

That day- or night, rather- he had more pressing matters to attend to. He waved the kissing-gate open and began the long search for the only one who'd ever cared. If only that fool would tell where she was, but supposedly, not knowing would help him get over her. He vowed to never let that happen. As if it could.

Before too long, he found the cold slab of white marble, and he fell on his knees, ignoring the second name and set of dates listed.

"You promised me you wouldn't leave me, Lily. 'I promise I'll never leave you, Sev', that's what you said, but you did, Lily, you did! How could you leave me?"

He felt the tears running down his face, but he knew there was no one out, on that dark Christmas night, to hear him.

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Spring

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It was almost over. He couldn't wait until he could close his eyes, one last time, and never open them again.

"Look... at... me..." he whispered, and Lily's eyes looked down at him, and he thought he closed his eyes.

And they opened again, and Lily's eyes were still there.

"Forgive me," Severus continued, feeling the pain in his neck fade away, and the mouth beneath the emerald eyes smiled.

But Potter would never smile, at least not at him, and in that instant, he knew.

"Lily?"

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FIN

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End file.
